who are we?

are we our own standard of measurement?

are we the end?

the greatest possible product of natural selection?

the i am?

an amalgamation of particles?

are we even alive?

are we fooling ourselves into believing?

a lie with a name?

a memory without an event?

are we immortal?

is the dirt our ancestor?

is God omni-impotent?

is there anything at all that really matters?

a moment in the now?

where are we?

how did we arrive?

and how are we going to get any further into oblivion?

is it really there at all?

or have we been wrong all along?

is the omni-absent deity smirking?

are we even bothering to notice?

would it change anything?

was Jesus a good boy?

why did his daddy discipline him with a cross?

will our children forgive us?

will their parents forgive us?

will we find purpose?

do we even exist?

peace i leave with you...

my peace i give to you...

not as the world gives...

do i give to you...

let not your heart be troubled...

neither let it be afraid... John 14:27

earlier this evening i was #39 on the 'hotblog' list. that was only a couple hours ago and now im not on the list at all. is this an xfile episode or is there a reason for such an incident?

i paid money for tblog pro. true enough i got more options as far as templates and exponential tbucks for posting or commenting but they dont make up for the options that havent worked in months. for instance - when i click on 'support' i get:

Warning: mysql_connect(): Access denied for user: 'admin@localhost' (Using password: YES) in /home/virtual/site1/fst/v ar/www/html/support/confi g.inc.php on line 75

and when i click on 'community' i get:

phpBB : Critical Error

Could not connect to the database

all this to say im a little frustrated with tblog and my desire to remain a member here under the pro account is dwindling - so if anyone has any ideas feel free...

while a sizeable chunk of the world lives in utter poverty and suffers from all manner of cureable diseases and/or preventable starvation - we in the commercialized consumerist civilization of the west have now been given the ability to not only shade the sun from our eyes but to enjoy our very own personalized mix of mp3s while we do so.

oakley presents the thump at the amazingly low price of just $495!

this is more than the combined cost of feeding a widow and her orphan for a year and providing clean drinking water for a small village of 360 people in zambia.

as i sit here in baffled awe of how unbelievably lopsided this world is im trying to think of ways to express myself without resorting to vulgarity and i just cant so im not going to say anything else...

hey Jesus

i need a little loan.

i cant pay for my phone

and my truck is not inspected.

hey Jesus

could you help us out a bit?

chip in what you see fit

so these checks wont be rejected?

hey Jesus

can you find the time

to help us make it by

until the paycheck clears the bank?

hey Jesus

will you be annoyed

if i get unemployed

or will you give my faith a yank?

hey Jesus

is there something i am missing?

i dont know im just guessing

but i think im right.

hey Jesus

i dont mean to be a pain.

i promise ill refrain

for just one insight…

what do we do now?

several thousand years ago

G-d promised israel a home.

this is the face of one young boy

being forced out of his.

i dont know what to think

about the gaza issue

but i cant stop thinking

about this boy and what

he is going through right now.

photo by damir sagolj/reuters

this is the first verse of a song by andrew osenga that really helped me tonight…

ma-am it must be your machine

there was money in there yesterday

ma-am it must be your machine

im telling you i swear i just got paid

all she wanted was some flowers

to plant in the yard

a shovel hose and spade

and to watch her walk those aisles

putting them back on the shelf

well something in me broke that day

baby dont worry

i know were going to make it if it kills me

baby dont worry

i know were going to make it alright

baby dont worry

i know were going to make it if it kills me

so close your eyes

sleep and dream tonight

kupovs latest post deals with epistomology. it got me thinking (which is a good thing) and i wanted to share my response here...

so many thoughts..

if your premise is true then all knowledge outside of the 5 senses is pseudo knowledge. the 5 senses are taste touch smell sight & sound. there are many things that both you and i believe in that exist outside of the 5 senses such as love. it cant be tasted or touched or smelled or seen or heard. yet we still believe in it bc we know that the natural material world is not all that exists. there is a world of concepts and ideas - just as real as the material world. we accept as truth that love exists yet it does so outside of the sensory world.

now about xianity i have 2 comments to make. 1st - xianity is a religion like any other religion. it has precepts and tenets. anyone who comes here and tells you that xianity will save you is misled. religion cant save anyone.

2nd - when we step beyond religions and begin talking about faith (and i mean faith in anything - not just Christ) then we are talking about things that are beyond the pale of logic. faith is not logical. if faith were a matter of logic then the idea that someone could be smart or stupid based on their receptiveness to Christ would make perfect sense - at least from a xian perspective - and i think its clear that many xians operate with exactly this kind of approach to the whole issue. but they are going about it all wrong. faith in Christ is illogical bc of the extraordinary claims he made as to who he was and what he could do. he said his death on the cross provided a way for all men to be reconciled to God and that his resurrection would guarantee eternal life for all who followed him – thats just not logical. so it is a matter of faith and for someone who dismisses faith as a means of determining truth then it makes perfect sense to reject Christ as you have done.

indeed - if logic were the only means of determining truth then the matter of faith in Christ would be a foregone conclusion for anyone – its not logical so it is rejected. but logic is not the only means of determining truth. the idea that logic is the only means to truth is an assumption about the way we know things. it is an assumption i do not share bc i accept that faith is a viable means of determining truth as well. for me then the question is who/what is worthy of faith? is religion worthy of my faith? as i expressed above it is not. religion is a matter of rituals practiced to impress God. as i have stated on numerous occasions i do not believe we can impress God with our works. so in eliminating the ‘what’ i am left to deal with the ‘who’. is muhammad worthy of faith? is buddha? the reason i reject these and follow Christ is the same reason i reject works and hold to the idea of grace.

in all my studies and experience i find that the basic concepts the world revolves around are works and grace. these take shape in different ways such as wrath & mercy or  revenge & forgiveness. wrath and revenge are based on works. mercy and forgiveness are based on grace. this plays out in everyday life in every situation we can think of.

for example - planes flying into buildings and troops invading baghdad are a matter of wrath and revenge. people strapping bombs to their stomachs and entering buses are a matter of wrath and revenge. these things are based on works and the idea of balance. but grace is different. grace is the man who loses his legs and his daughter in an terrorist explosion and offers forgiveness to those responsible on international tv. grace is the failed abortion growing up to forgive the mother who attempted to end her life. grace is nelson mandela exiting a south african prison with tears in his eyes as he forgives the ones who wrongfully imprisoned him for the crime of being a black man. mercy and forgiveness intermingle in situations like these and show us the power of grace. and it is here that i stake my claim. its true that faith is unlike head-knowledge. but faith is a knowledge all its own. by faith i follow Christ and his unique concept of grace.

such strange words

caused the men to search

and left them praising there

 in silence

such strange words

caused the men to trust

and left their boats there

 in silence

such strange words

caused the men to leave

and left the two of them there

 in silence

such strange words

caused the men to eat

and left them sitting there

 in silence

such strange words

caused the men to fear

and left him hanging there

 in silence

such strange words

caused the men to gasp

and left them standing there

 in silence

such strange words

caused the men to die

and left them martyred there

 in silence

amazing grace

how sweet the sound

that saved a wretch

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;     & nbsp;

where i got this idea

my sister-in-law has opened up a blog and i would like to encourage you fine folks to give it a look. if by chance you notice how strangely similar its design is to mine theres a very simple explanation for that. Ü

its called jumping into the unknown and i think you will dig it mucho. 

step inside

it must be cold

the bastards have been chasing you

it shows

rest a while

they wont come in

they are far too preoccupied

with sin

hold this there

the blood is fresh

theyve a knack for taking crowbars

to flesh.

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   sure it hurts

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   of course it will

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   nothing you can do about that

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   and still

just hold on

wait a moment

the warmth of this place will help you

relent

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;       & nbsp;   &n bsp;   it takes time    & nbsp;

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;       & nbsp;   &n bsp;   for us to heal

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;       & nbsp;   &n bsp;   its good to know you haven’t lost

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;       & nbsp;   &n bsp;   your zeal

one last thing

before you go

the one thing you cant leave until

you know

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   see my scars

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   ive been there too

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   id let them catch and torture me

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   for you

a man built a god. he gave it all the qualities he desired and especially those he thought he represented. he dressed it in fine garments and presented it to others with eloquence and clever persuasion. many also believed in this god and worshipped it. he built for this god a throne of doctrines from the rubble of the doctrines he despised. little by little he completed his masterpiece and soon his god sat on its throne high atop the philosophical world as the crowning gem of human achievement.

and there was a young man who longed to be close to that god and his throne. he was ever seeking ways to get closer - to see and touch the god . then came the time when he finally made his way through the crowd and drew close enough to touch the god. he tought it odd this god had no hands and no feet. he found it strange this god had no eyes and no ears and no mouth. despite these things he reached out to touch the god - to experience truth.

the splinter in his finger drew blood and he recoiled in shock. "this is no god!" he screamed but the people ignored him and the man who built the god chastized him for having touched it. he shouted all the louder "this is no god!" and showed people his wound but they smiled and offered well meaning encouragement and continued worshipping the god. no one listened to the young man.

he fell on his knees with his face in his hands and cried out "oh God of no design - hear me! i was deceieved and worshipped the god the man built. have mercy on me!" and as a crack of thunder rumbled through the clouds above rain began to fall. it washed the cut clean and soaked the young man as well as those worshipping the god the man built. they rejoiced in the god the man built and worshipped it all the more. but the young man stood up wiped his face and began quietly moving through the crowd.

when he reached the god on its throne he paused. such a nice god this had seemed. such a pleasant god this had appeared. then the sting of the cut reminded him of the hidden danger of this god and with all his might he smashed the god the man had built. as he stood over the broken shards of wood the people fell silent. he looked at them and declared "let no one ever build a god again. but let all men know the God of no design as he reveals himself to be for knowing the God of no design is the only true freedom."

and so it was.