theres a scene in the old testament where the prophet elijah calls out 400+ prophets of baal and challenges them to a battle of the gods. he lets them go first and after they are utterly spent calling on their god who has not answered he taunts them by saying "where is your God?"

i was reading over this passage and for reasons i cant quite explain i took the question personally and ran with it in my mind.

so

is

where     & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;           & nbsp;   &n bsp;   God?

my

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;  

ive thought long and hard about this for some time now. especially in light of events such as the tsunami and katrina and i think i have an idea.

hes sitting in a cardboard box under the freeway near downtown in desperate need of a meal. hes laying on his bed at the orphanage wondering why no one ever comes to visit unless its xmas. hes leaning against a cement wall behind bars waiting for some of his followers to take him seriously about that whole [i][b]least of these[/i][/b] thing.

this is where my God is. not in a palace or a sitting on a throne – but born into a feed trough and largely ignored ever since even by those who claim to be his followers both in his time and in ours. ive been seeking his presence for a long time now – wondering where he is when hes been waiting for me to come visit him under the freeway…in the orphanage…behind bars.

ranting is so overrated. but alas - i have to rant about this. 

pulled into the taco bell drive thru today and ordered a #3 - no onions tomato or lettuce and a grilled steak burrito no hot sauce or beans with an xl mountain dew ez on the ice. i repeated my order slowly and articulately when asked and was told to drive up to the window. so i get to the window and the smiling lady asked me again to clarify my order. i did so politely as i understand how poorly the ordering mics work. its hard to understand anyone over the fuzz and breaks most the time. "i would like a grilled steak burrito." typically gets garbled into something like "i want to take over the world with my wmds." i believe this may have happened to some poor guy from iraq not long ago.

so i pay and pull up to get my order and the first thing i notice is that the lady at the window is handing me a regular drink. so i ask nicely if i didnt order an xl and she smiles and nods and exchanges the drink. very well - im not raising a fuss over this bc its just all too common. but after i get the bag to go and look at what i got - guess what? not even close to what i ordered. now i have two kids in the car with me and its a grand hassle to get them out and take them in just to get my order straight. and i shouldnt have to. its not my responsibility to make sure that the person working the drive thru understands english - thats taco bells job.

and herein is my gripe. i have no problem with people who come to this country looking for jobs to sustain their families. i think its admirable that they seek employment instead of simply suckling from welfare. but is it too much to ask that the person taking my order understand the language i am using to place it? should i have to know conversational spanish just to get my order placed correctly? its a quandry. knowing my spanish i would end up asking for directions to the bathroom.

so i pull around and go inside and ask them to correct the order. they were nice and polite and smiling the whole time and didnt seem upset or frustrated with me in the least. me on the other hand? im peeved at having to get out of my car bc if i wanted to get out of my car at taco bell i would have just done so in the first place. but as i waited i noticed how friendly and considerate they were. they even gave me an order of cinnistix to make up for it and thanked me for my patience as i turned to go.

so im back in my car on my way home thinking to myself - why am i so upset? its not as tho the drive thru lady set out to waste my time or give me the wrong order. its not as tho she maliciously entered the wrong items on the order screen. at least - i have no reason to think so. she is doing her best and im just showing a lack of compassion and tolerance. how very typical of me. and as i pondered these things i couldnt help but wonder if the second mile didnt include walking all the way into the taco bell when someone has made a mistake in taking my order.

so whats the moral? i dont know. ask kurt maddox. Ü

i always enjoy seeing new faces on tblog and hearing fresh perspectives add their voice to the growing community here. however some additions seem to be a little too eager to add their voice.

take danu9 for example. im certain danu9 is a well meaning and sincere person who legitimately endeavors to pursue their faith with all their heart. im sure this has resulted in a desire to express and communicate that faith with others on a broad scale. im positive that danu9 has no ill intentions.

but of the last 50 posts in the religion section (not including this one) danu9 is responsible for all but 7. wow. what is that about?

there is no truth

there is no lie

there is no way of ever knowing why

there is only love

there is only grace

there is only trusting in the look on Jesus face

there is no knowledge

there is no ignorance

there is no honest way to ever take a stance

there is only life

there is only faith

there is only time and we will all just have to wait

there is no wrong

there is no right

there is no sense taking sides on black and white

there is only you

there is only me

there is only living here pursuing unity

there is no loss

there is no lack

there is no breadcrumb trail to find our way back

there is only hope

there is only peace

there is only death and when it comes a restful release

turn your cheek for me?

 

bite your tongue for me?

 

stay silent for me?

 

will you kill for a child?

 

will you kill for a cause?

 

will you kill for me?

 

burn your eyes for me?

 

starve yourself for me?

 

stay humble for me?

 

will you kill for revenge?

 

will your kill for pleasure?

 

will you kill for me?

 

leave your family?

 

run and hide or go to war?

 

will you do this for me?

 

will you lie?

 

will you cry?

 

will you die for me?

if only i were a jellyfish

floating in the current

it would be much easier

and far more comfortable

than actually asking questions

that challenge peoples views

when its quite obvious

that those staunch and pious people

dont want their views challenged.

it would save me the trouble

of being on the brunt end

of an emotionally manipulative relationship

with a loved one.

i could just smile and m-hmm

and nod my way thru any tempest.

i could glide right along

with every half baked idea

because its what weve always been taught

and much older and wiser men

who have been studying this

for much longer than me

see it differently.

it would certainly keep

situations like tonights explosion

from even becoming a remote possibility.

 

but let me be anathema

because i think

and have the unmitigated gall

to question.

let me be accursed

because i have a thoroughly different

understanding from yours.

let me be damned

and may Gods peace

rest on you

and your comfortable beliefs.

amen.

 

maranatha.

this is my sister in law fallingintoYou.

her blog is called jumping into the unknown and she spends most her time there wondering about life love God and how to steal my ideas and make them better. i wanted to give her some props bc shes cool and deserves em. and no - you cant have her number. =P

its true. let me splain.

i hate shoes. never have liked them and cant stand wearing them - even for a good cause like um...i dunno of any. so i have to wear something on my feet when i go out to social events bc people are just weirded out when i dont. especially at church which i cant grasp bc most everybody in the bible was either barefoot or wearing sandles. anyway - as i dont live in a state that fears the complexities of seasonal changes ie - cold weather - my usual attire consists of flipflops.

so anyway - around the house i prefer being barefoot. every house ive ever lived in has had carpet or if it had tile/hardwoods there have always been rugs. but our current house is a peer and beam and our living room and kitchen are of a continuous wood flooring. its nice looking and gives the house a very antiquated feel which the wifey digs. that fact and our current poverty factor are why we dont have rugs here.

but the problem is that barefeet on hardwoods attract whatever particles of whatever foods and/or dirt and/or whatever else. my thing about not having things on my feet is not just about shoes. i absolutely hate foreign particles clinging to my feet - especially if i am walking around or standing in the kitchen doing dishes or whatever. it is simply maddening and makes me wanna cuss. i find myself acting like a cat taking a step or two and shaking my paws to get the stuff off. i particularly despise coming into the main part of the house after a relxing shower wherein i have thoroughly cleaned my feet and not two steps into the kitchen ive got a smal armada of junk on my soles again. being unable to stride from refreshing shower to the living room couch without a congrgegation of who knows what appearing on my feet makes me wanna cuss. so ive ended up most of the time wearing flipflops inside my house too which - you guessed it - makes me wanna cuss.

and for those who are wondering 'why doesnt he just sweep?' this reveals that you have never lived in a place with hardwoods bc no amount of sweeping gets rid of all the stuff and the first time anyone goes into or out of the house a whole new batch of positively-attracted-to-m y-feet kind of stuff arrives on the floor and begins making its way around to wherever my feet must surely land. its neverending which makes me wanna cuss some more.

father forgive me for i have sinned. Ü

been in several discussions lately and people all over the place seem to think satan is still just as powerful as he ever was and has been personally messing with them. this is bothering me for a bunch of reasons but i wanted to get some other perspectives on it.

so what do you guys think? whats the situation with satan these days? does he go after people? does he still have any power? is he just an amalgum in our collective conscious? what are your thoughts?

i will not hide

from you

i will not run

from you

is there any place that i can go?

is there any grace that i can know?

just want to hear

from you

its like wrestling with an angel

i will not let go

of you

i wont walk away

from you

i wont turn my face

from you

is there any place that i can go?

is there any grace that i can know?

just need a word

from you

its like wrestling with an angel

i will not let go

of you

i want to wait

on you

i want to trust

on you

is there any place that i can go

is there any grace that i can know

just draw me near

to you

its like wrestling with an angel

i will not let go

of you

will you change my name

will you change my heart

will you change my mind

will you change me

i posted this pic on an internet forum in a discussion about xian pacifism. the picture was deemed offensive and removed. the point of it is exactly that - if we find such a picture of Christ offensive shouldnt we then also find such ideals among his followers offensive?