i was reading michael yaconellis book messy spirituality and his discussion of desperation and what it will motivate people to do fascinated me. he used the example from mark 2 of Jesus being so crowded with people that some guys ended up cutting a hole in the roof to lower their friend down to Jesus so he could be healed. this is a great story and Jesus not only heals the guy but also forgives his sins without being asked. whats that about?

anyway i was thinking about what would happen if Jesus was around today and this scenario unfolded. you know - Jesus is having a nice afternoon with the Miser family and several (hundred) of their close friends when up on the houstop the sound of chainsaws gives everyone a jolt and within a few seconds a huge chunk of ceiling caves in giving Jesus 5 more people to heal. by the time they lower the poor invalid down the owner of the house has called 911 and the police are arresting the four guys with the chainsaws who all claim under oath that it was the cripple guys fault and he ends up healed but serving 2-4 with probation on felony breaking and entering as well as negligent assault and is required to do 200 hours of community service and pay for the damages to the roof to the tune of $3000.

im thinking that even if you are desperate for healing - its prolly a better idea just to use the sky light...

despite its well-intended expression by those who employ it this common colloquialism severely irks me. it never fails. youre having a bad day for any number of reasons – and most likely several possibilities have allied in force against you – when you finally get a moments reprieve from the assault and turn to a someone to release your exasperation. the person listens intently with a keen ear and after you have left yourself precariously open their heart-felt reply is: hang in there.

clearly they dont mean for you to stop bothering them and go hang in another room and hopefully they dont mean for you to be hanging by your neck tho sometimes with certain people i wonder. so what exactly does it mean? ive thot it over and im pretty sure it means that you are a piñata – strung up for the world to beat on. think about it – the world is beating on you all day and your confidant admonishes you to hang in there. its like saying: you just take that licking and keep on ticking which basically implies the beating is just part of it.

so in essence what they are really saying – tho im sure they dont realize it – is: sucks to be you today. maybe im odd like fairmoon says but id rather hear this. its more honest. it more accurately reflects the nature of the situation. a good friend would of course couple the statement with some appeal to kindred spirits or an offer of a pint unless they happen to be a southern baptist – in which case you may need to buy them a pint somewhere out of the way where no one will recognize the car.

now i dont mean to offend those of you who for lack of better words in tough moments have reached into the bag of consolation and found this statement floating closest to the top. nor do i wish to upset those of you who think this phrase somehow captures an essential bond between piñatas. i just wanted to share my thots for those of you twisted enough to appreciate them so enjoy!

there is plenty in the present church that reflects poorly on God to say the least. hypocrisy is part of it but lack of self-discipline and lack of good teaching etc contribute to the problem as well. then theres the power to be had in courting the church. convince them you love their God and they’ll be feeding from your hand. government does this. so does hollywood. so does business.

our government is in a weird state of upheaval right now bc as loud as some of the newdows are theres this perpetual silent majority that wins elections and they are overwhelmingly religious. so the republicans masquerade as family friendly with evangelical sensitivity and the democrats scurry for faith-based candidates who wont impede their agendas all the while both groups and their incessant bs are sucking the life out of the gospel like vampires. im pretty sure that scripture quoting bureaucrats with blood on their hands and the church to thank for their power utterly fails to please God.

and hollywood? theyve only just begun to market towards Gods people with any serious effort. damn that gibson. his movie woke up an industry that was fairly well leaving us alone outside the occasional stab at our God. but now? forget it - every movie and every tv show and every plot to everything has spiritual significance somehow. even the idiotic show desperate housewives about upper middle class hootchies in the suburbs trying to get a piece of their hunky yardmen has a character checking out faith. no - seriously. and while God may love the people doing this stuff im pretty sure he doesnt condone the actions so for us to act like he doesnt give a rip about our endless desire to fill our minds with crap and waste our time and money watching it is just silly.

business is not only getting on the bandwagon - they shoved the driver and took his seat. whys that? bc xians have $$$ and we want to spend it on whatever flashy crap you can decorate with an ounce of religious meaning. forget the needy in africa and downtown chicago. forget stewardship and self-discipline in using money wisely to help the kingdom. chuck all that dammit i want the new motorized wind-up jesus doll who has a three speed slicing action ninja sword and appeared in a movie by mel gibson. waitaminute! they just came out with a new jesusbox 360 and it comes with the brand new 'huge waste of time 2: stellar stasis'? i must have one!

having ranted myself into a frothing frenzy now i want to say this: ultimately church is not evil. its a hospital. you should expect to find some sick and messed up people there bc thats where they can get help from the physician. problem with us is we think we are well and only other people need doctoring. for this reason the church no matter which way you look at it or how ideally you approach the concept will always be a severely perverted shadow of what was intended - just like our everyday lives.

morality? the means of justifying anything. boom. there ya go.

ah yes. i see. but what about whats really right and wrong? 

morality? the means of justifying anything. boom. there ya go.

ah yes. i see. but i mean to say: what about what i think?

morality? the means of justifying anything. boom. there ya go.

ah yes. i see. how much for a dozen?